we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize