I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
