i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
