Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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