You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
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and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
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If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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