Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
