Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
