i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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