I feel great
I just peed on a car
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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