Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
