Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
