I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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