Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
