I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
