Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
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Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Well I just put wine in my tea
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We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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