I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
