i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
