I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dick very happy bro
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
