I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
