can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
