just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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