You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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