i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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