How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
