Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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