that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
