You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize