I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
