Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
