She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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