Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
