so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize