go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
