In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Randomize
