Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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