We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
either way he was missing a nipple.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
