Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
