her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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