i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
