Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
