First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Everclear isn't food dammit
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
