I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
