No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
