Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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