She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
accomplished twins. life is a go
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
