Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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