ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
