Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
How's work?
Spinning.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
