The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
