he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
