im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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