woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Terrible idea I love it
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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