so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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