"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize