no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize