you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
