Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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