Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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