I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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