he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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