did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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