Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
