never play flip cup with pint glasses
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize
